Vampires being overbearing about mortal needs

•  SLEEP. Do you do it?
• Drink the splashy stuff for the love of GOD your blood is GRAINY.
• You look like you're going to fall over from starvation. Let me make you a ten-course meal from my childhood. Who cares if it's a Tuesday?
• Ten blankets and a hot water bottle. "Are you warm now?"
• What IS THIS SHITE in your larder? Mortal, this is not food. You have been robbed of your hard-earned coin.
• Being irrationally angry at modern food the more you try to explain it to them: "What in God's name is a 'cheese product'? IS IT OR IS IT NOT CHEESE?"
• Brings dinner for their favorites because if they're eating, you're eating. It's only fair. But vampire has internal panic trying to order food at a restaurant like a mortal, or buying food at a grocery store, because the way we handle food now is so different from when they were alive.