Hospital themed starters

 

"Hold still long enough to get the IV in.."

"Turn down the TV I can hardly understand your nurse over it."

"There's talk of a possible tracheostomy.."

"Looks like someone needs a new lung."

"All they'll allow me to have is ice chips, they are too afraid I'll aspirate."

"Do you have some alternative to medical tape? That shit rips hair and skin."

"Look, I'm not complaining, it just smells funny in here.."

"Bet this place is haunted. Look at it. It has to be."

"The nurse is a bit of a dick if I'm being honest."

"If I continue to get woke up every time this monitor freaks out over my oxygen dropping slightly in my sleep, I swear I'm gonna lose it!"

"The nurses check on me every thirty minutes at night, it's impossible to fucking sleep here. Even with the pain meds."

"You brought me flowers?"

"Thanks for the card."

"I brought you a stuffed animal and your favorite book."

"Hey, I got this blanket for you. I know how easily you get cold and figured hospital blankets wouldn't cover it."

"You scared us all pretty bad."

"You have to stop being so careless!"

"I almost died !"

"Ugh. These pain meds are making me twice as loopy as when I'm sleep deprived."

"Make sure they put your contact information on the whiteboard.

"Don't go."

"I'm getting discharged tomorrow."

"How the hell did you break your leg in four places ?? I only left you alone for five minutes!!"